Panic Attack

Since coming back from break I’ve had far too many up and downs for my liking, and really for my sanity. For whatever reason I let worry about this upcoming semester completely derail me, and I found myself freaking out and questioning my purpose in life. But in a moment of clarity, or perhaps pure exhaustion, I realized something that I feel is pretty important. I’ve become consumed with figuring out what my next step is, but instead I should be focused on what I was created to do in this moment. Today is really all I have, and I need to focus on whatever that particular day requires of me. I’ve tried to live in the moment before, and it worked well when life was exciting. But the excitement wasn’t meant to last forever, and when it wore off, I felt like my life had become mundane and purposeless. But everything has a purpose, right? And maybe today my purpose is to work on homework, or to go for a run, or to go to school, or maybe by the grace of God I’m supposed to take a nap in the afternoon. I need to stop searching and wondering about the future and start living by what God has been teaching me lately. He’s given me more than enough to work with. 

Lamentations 3:17-26
My soul is deprived of peace, I have forgotten what happiness is; I tell myself my future is lost, all that I hoped for from the Lord. The thought of my homeless poverty is wormwood and gall; remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: 

The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; they are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the Lord, says my soul; therefore will I hope in him. Good is the Lord to one who waits for him, to the soul that seeks him; it is good to hope in silence for the saving help of the Lord.