Today is just heart day all around. Not only is it Valentine’s Day, but it's also Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day. I think that this is a very worthy cause (the heart defect part, not the buying chocolates part) that not very many people know about, so I’m going to try and make you aware. And this whole heart deal makes me who I am, so it's pretty important to me.
It took me a few days to write this post because I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. I could write a book about all of my experiences, and maybe I will someday, but it's impossible to summarize everything. It's all connected, so I couldn’t just tell you about one event, because then I’d have to explain the story that came before that. And I really don’t have the time to write the whole saga that is my life.
I was going to explain how blessed I am because I have a normal life. Then I took a step back and realized that to almost anyone else, my life is far from normal. Really though, what is normal? I don’t think there is a set standard in existence. Everyone has their own normal.
My normal is being excited that I don’t have to go to the doctor for another year instead of six months. My normal is knowing what TGA, ASO, ECMO, and QTc stand for. My normal is questioning if there is anyone else who thinks about life the same way I do. My normal is wondering if the shirt I’m wearing is going to cover my scar. Sidenote: You know what I’ve always thought my scar looked like? Rafiki’s stick. Maybe that explains why I love The Lion King so much. And I’m totally comfortable with my scar. However, I’m not comfortable with people staring, or the awkward feeling when they want to ask what it’s from, but don’t because they're afraid to offend me or something.
I’ve always thought that this was just something that happened. Life can’t always perfect, and I’m one of those whole fall in the imperfect category. Well, there is a specific reason God made me the way He did. This didn’t just happen, it was planned.
I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. Your eyes foresaw my actions; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be. How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them! Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands; to finish, I would need eternity.
So why did God plan this for me? I don’t know. For now, I know that I need to use my experiences to help others. Those who are like me, who are searching for anyone who knows what they’re going through. And maybe somehow along the way, I might inspire someone in the 95.5% of the population who was born with a normal heart. I won’t fully come to understand God’s reason for this until I’ve done everything He wanted me to do. Then He will show me what the purpose of everything was. And what an amazing day that will be.
God is perfect, so He didn’t make a mistake when he created my heart. Oh, oops isn’t a phrase in His vocabulary. He looked at my heart and said, That is beautiful, and it’s going to do good things. He says that every time He creates something. If He didn’t mess up when He made me, then He certainly didn’t make a mistake when He made you.
God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good.
You and your heart are perfect...can't imagine the person you would be today if God made your heart any other way!!
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