In 4 weeks I will be moving back to Prescott. As graduation is approaching and my time in Ogden is coming to a close, a couple things are happening:
1. Excitement about no longer being a college student 2. Sheer terror about the thought of being an adult 3. Nostalgia, which leads to an abnormally high level of emotions 4. Crying (see number 3)
Sometimes I’ll be thinking about all that has happened in Utah, which makes thankfulness leak out of my eyeballs. But a majority of the time memories will come up, which reminds me how much I love the people here and then I cry out of sadness over moving away. I’m afraid to lose friendships, or to drift away from people who have been such a huge part of my life. But if I fell in love over skype, then maintaining a long-distance friendship is surely possible.
There is no doubt Arizona is my home. Utah is a great place, but I can’t live here long-term. Still, I feel torn between two places. I miss my family and Prescott, and I’m ready to start my life with my fiancé. Except when I leave in a month, part of me will always be missing. Ogden is going to leave a huge hole in my heart, and I’m not quite sure what to do with that.
God has been reminding me that no matter where I live, he is closer to me than anyone I may be missing. While life changes, he is constant. He is a safe refuge who deserves our trust.
As a community we are all mourning the end of our time together. But as followers of Christ, there is something we can hold on to for hope as we all begin to go down different paths in life. We often forget that our time on earth is short, and this life is temporary. However, if we maintain our focus on eternity throughout our lives, our time apart really won't seem that long. Then we will be able to catch up on everything that has happened in our lives when we all get to heaven. If we thought worship was good now, just wait until we are before the throne of God worshiping in his presence. We have come together, built friendships, and are connected by God’s love. Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
we will dance and sing when your heart is fulfilled
Don't you close your eyes, don't you lose your way
don't you miss all the gifts that are unforeseen
I'm your anchor and shield, I'm the wind in your sails
I'm the song in your heart, the God who saves
Our homes may be miles apart, but despite distance and the time that passes between visits, we will always have an eternal home. No matter how different our lives may be, we are all journeying towards our only true home. One day our community will reunite there. We’ll be joined by our families and others who have become a part of our lives, and we will all be one massive family again.
All in the city of God sing in their festive dance:
This week of Chapter Camp was my favorite next to Mark 1 in Glorieta. It was a beautiful way to end my time with this family I’ve become a part of. There's a little more time, because graduation is 40 days away (very biblical). Still, the next generation of students are starting to step up to take the place of those who are graduating.
My Mark 1 group was told that half of us would not return to camp the next year. There were 18 of us, and 14 returned for Mark 2. Then 12 came back for prayer seminar. For Origins, 10 people from our original Mark 1 group were able to study the Old Testament and be together for camp one last time. One of the best gifts God has given me in Utah was that group of people to experience camp with, but also that we were able to journey through life during the 51 other weeks of the year.
I encourage and challenge all of you who just went to camp to work at keeping your friendships with one another strong. You have experienced powerful things together and if you work hard and stay committed to helping each other follow Jesus, your friendships will last beyond your time in college. Do not forget how you felt at catalina or how you feel right now. Don’t forget the friendships that you made or how you saw and experienced love in tangible ways this past week. Do not let your brothers and sisters fall away from this fellowship. Following Jesus is difficult, so help each other. Follow the Lord with your whole heart, soul, and strength, and don’t forget the secret to the Kingdom.
Remember the impact this week has had on you and use that to motivate you to invite others into IV and to camp. Tell them your story and how Jesus has changed you. Your personal story has more influence than you realize. I hope and pray that next year there will be even more people at camp.
Your time in college and your opportunities to experience life with this incredible group of people will go by faster than you think. Right now may be wishing you could be done with school so you can start “real life,” but your life could not be any more real than it is now. One day you will be wishing you had more time to spend with the people you have come to know and love. Chose joy and be present.
Take care, brothers and sisters, that none of you may have an evil and unfaithful heart, so as to forsake the living God. Encourage yourselves daily while it is still “today,” so that none of you may grow hardened by the deceit of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.
As I think about moving back to Arizona I'm realizing how quickly and drastically my life is going to change. One day I will be taking finals, and the next I will no longer be a college student. One night I will sleep in Ogden, and the next I will be back in my own bed in Prescott. The thought of it has been freaking me out because there will be no smooth transition into the next part of my life. I hate change as it is, and for it to happen so suddenly is intimidating. During the early years of college I felt like I was living two completely different lives; one in Utah and one in Arizona. But in the past year or so my life has all blended together. My family knows my friends in Utah and my friends know my family. Since Zane and I have been long-distance I felt like our relationship was another aspect of my life that not many people were personally involved in. Then this past week Zane visited Ogden, and now my Utah friends know him. This week I was able to see him with the people who have been the biggest influence in my life during college, and they were able to meet the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.Every aspect of my life is overlapping. It’s a beautiful thing really. For graduation my parents, grandparents, Robert, and Zane will be coming. One of the greatest joys in my life comes from seeing my family with my Utah friends. Seriously, I can't even explain how it makes me feel. For the biggest transition of my life so far, I’m looking forward to (I would say I can’t wait, but I can wait) having all of my favorite people in one place for the friesta to end all friestas. Now that I’ve seen I’m no longer living a compartmentalized life, I feel comforted about moving. My family in Arizona and my friends in Utah are all intertwined, and no matter where I live I know they will always be a part of my life. I know life only gets better as time goes on. So if I thought life was great now, I can’t even imagine how it will be in the next couple years.
