Fear vs. Faith

      Back during spring break I once again went with InterVarsity to chapter camp. Last year we studied the first half of Mark in New Mexico, and this year we went through the second half on Catalina Island. I won’t be able to come even close to telling you everything, because there were a lot of things I saw/learned/felt (which wasn’t always an enjoyable experience). One of the passages that had the biggest impact on me was the story of Peter and the progression of his relationship with Jesus. 

Let’s start at the Last Supper where Jesus tells the disciples that their faith will be shaken and they will fall away, because He’s about to be killed. Peter speaks up and says that everyone else might fall away, but he won’t. So Jesus informs Peter that in reality he’s going to deny Jesus three times that night before the rooster crows twice. With conviction Peter responds that he will die before he denies Jesus. Oh, Peter.

  Now Jesus heads to the garden to pray along with his three closest disciples, which includes Peter. Jesus asks them to stay awake with him, but they fall asleep. Three times. Then things start to get crazy. When Jesus is arrested, Peter cuts off one of the guard’s ears with his sword. (sidenote: did Jesus heal the guard?) At first I was thinking that Peter was simply protecting Jesus, but really Peter was protecting himself. Jesus had been telling the disciples for a while that he was going to die, which meant that they were going to suffer too. Well Peter, like every other human, isn’t too excited about suffering. So when Jesus’ plans started to involve things he didn’t care for, he tried to take things into his own hands. 

  As Jesus is being led away, the disciples forsake Him and leave. Why? They let fear take over their faith. Peter followed behind Jesus at a distance, and stayed outside the courts where Jesus was being questioned. This is when Peter first denied Jesus. Then with each subsequent denial, Peter moved farther away from Him. First to the outer courts and eventually outside of them. Immediately following the third denial, the rooster crowed for the second time. Peter then remembered what Jesus told him was going to happen, and he broke down and cried. More than that, I think Peter remembered his response to Jesus, “I will not deny you.” But he did. Three times. No wonder some translations say Peter wept bitterly, or with intense pain.

What makes you forsake Jesus?

     This is when everyone rebukes the disciples for their foolishness, especially Peter. He saw Jesus in all His glory and denied Him? How could he do such a thing? It’s pretty simple. He let fear harden his heart and kill his faith. 

  At this point it hit me. And I’m not joking around with the hitting. It felt like Jesus punched me. With Love, of course. I am Peter. The Spirit of God lives in me, yet I still live by fear instead of faith. I deny Jesus when I don’t trust Him or let Him have control in my life. His plans for me involve suffering, so I run around chopping off ears. 

  But there’s hope! At this point in the story the number three starts showing up all over the place. It stands for completion. But do you remember how many times the rooster crowed after Peter denied Jesus? Twice. Just short of three, incomplete. Yes, Peter denied and forsook Jesus, but his story isn’t complete. There’s still hope. The benefit of realizing you’re exactly like Peter? Your story isn’t finished either. Not even close.

Mark 9:23-24

Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith." Then the boy's father cried out, “I do believe, Help my unbelief!”