Psalm 136

The real Psalm 136 thanks God for all he has done throughout the history of Israel. Back in October at our fall conference we each wrote our own version of that psalm about what God has done during our time in college. I've worked on it since then, and finished it after graduation. Enjoy! 

Home

In 4 weeks I will be moving back to Prescott. As graduation is approaching and my time in Ogden is coming to a close, a couple things are happening:

1. Excitement about no longer being a college student
2. Sheer terror about the thought of being an adult
3. Nostalgia, which leads to an abnormally high level of emotions 
4. Crying (see number 3)

Sometimes I’ll be thinking about all that has happened in Utah, which makes thankfulness leak out of my eyeballs. But a majority of the time memories will come up, which reminds me how much I love the people here and then I cry out of sadness over moving away. I’m afraid to lose friendships, or to drift away from people who have been such a huge part of my life. But if I fell in love over skype, then maintaining a long-distance friendship is surely possible.

There is no doubt Arizona is my home. Utah is a great place, but I can’t live here long-term. Still, I feel torn between two places. I miss my family and Prescott, and I’m ready to start my life with my fiancé. Except when I leave in a month, part of me will always be missing. Ogden is going to leave a huge hole in my heart, and I’m not quite sure what to do with that. 

God has been reminding me that no matter where I live, he is closer to me than anyone I may be missing. While life changes, he is constant. He is a safe refuge who deserves our trust. 

As a community we are all mourning the end of our time together. But as followers of Christ, there is something we can hold on to for hope as we all begin to go down different paths in life. We often forget that our time on earth is short, and this life is temporary. However, if we maintain our focus on eternity throughout our lives, our time apart really won't seem that long. Then we will be able to catch up on everything that has happened in our lives when we all get to heaven. If we thought worship was good now, just wait until we are before the throne of God worshiping in his presence. We have come together, built friendships, and are connected by God’s love. Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.

2 Corinthians 5:1

I will hold you, child,

when all is done, when the world is gone

and its songs have been sung

You will be with me through endless years

we will dance and sing when your heart is fulfilled

Don't you close your eyes, don't you lose your way

don't you miss all the gifts that are unforeseen

I'm your anchor and shield, I'm the wind in your sails

I'm the song in your heart, the God who saves

Our homes may be miles apart, but despite distance and the time that passes between visits, we will always have an eternal home. No matter how different our lives may be, we are all journeying towards our only true home. One day our community will reunite there. We’ll be joined by our families and others who have become a part of our lives, and we will all be one massive family again.

All in the city of God sing in their festive dance:

“Within you, Lord, is my true home.”

Psalm 87:7

Chapter Camp Challenge

This week of Chapter Camp was my favorite next to Mark 1 in Glorieta. It was a beautiful way to end my time with this family I’ve become a part of. There's a little more time, because graduation is 40 days away (very biblical). Still, the next generation of students are starting to step up to take the place of those who are graduating. 

My Mark 1 group was told that half of us would not return to camp the next year. There were 18 of us, and 14 returned for Mark 2. Then 12 came back for prayer seminar. For Origins, 10 people from our original Mark 1 group were able to study the Old Testament and be together for camp one last time. One of the best gifts God has given me in Utah was that group of people to experience camp with, but also that we were able to journey through life during the 51 other weeks of the year.

I encourage and challenge all of you who just went to camp to work at keeping your friendships with one another strong. You have experienced powerful things together and if you work hard and stay committed to helping each other follow Jesus, your friendships will last beyond your time in college. Do not forget how you felt at catalina or how you feel right now. Don’t forget the friendships that you made or how you saw and experienced love in tangible ways this past week. Do not let your brothers and sisters fall away from this fellowship. Following Jesus is difficult, so help each other. Follow the Lord with your whole heart, soul, and strength, and don’t forget the secret to the Kingdom.

Remember the impact this week has had on you and use that to motivate you to invite others into IV and to camp. Tell them your story and how Jesus has changed you. Your personal story has more influence than you realize. I hope and pray that next year there will be even more people at camp.

Your time in college and your opportunities to experience life with this incredible group of people will go by faster than you think. Right now may be wishing you could be done with school so you can start “real life,” but your life could not be any more real than it is now. One day you will be wishing you had more time to spend with the people you have come to know and love. Chose joy and be present.

Take care, brothers and sisters, that none of you may have an evil and unfaithful heart, so as to forsake the living God. 
Encourage yourselves daily while it is still “today,” so that none of you may grow hardened by the deceit of sin. 
For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.

Hebrews 3:12-14

Transitions

As I think about moving back to Arizona I'm realizing how quickly and drastically my life is going to change. One day I will be taking finals, and the next I will no longer be a college student. One night I will sleep in Ogden, and the next I will be back in my own bed in Prescott. The thought of it has been freaking me out because there will be no smooth transition into the next part of my life. I hate change as it is, and for it to happen so suddenly is intimidating. 
During the early years of college I felt like I was living two completely different lives; one in Utah and one in Arizona. But in the past year or so my life has all blended together. My family knows my friends in Utah and my friends know my family. Since Zane and I have been long-distance I felt like our relationship was another aspect of my life that not many people were personally involved in. Then this past week Zane visited Ogden, and now my Utah friends know him. This week I was able to see him with the people who have been the biggest influence in my life during college, and they were able to meet the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Every aspect of my life is overlapping. It’s a beautiful thing really. For graduation my parents, grandparents, Robert, and Zane will be coming. One of the greatest joys in my life comes from seeing my family with my Utah friends. Seriously, I can't even explain how it makes me feel. For the biggest transition of my life so far, I’m looking forward to (I would say I can’t wait, but I can wait) having all of my favorite people in one place for the friesta to end all friestas.
Now that I’ve seen I’m no longer living a compartmentalized life, I feel comforted about moving. My family in Arizona and my friends in Utah are all intertwined, and no matter where I live I know they will always be a part of my life. I know life only gets better as time goes on. So if I thought life was great now, I can’t even imagine how it will be in the next couple years. 

Isaiah 43:19

See, I am doing something new!

Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

God is Love

When I moved to Ogden, I don’t remember all the details of what my expectations were. I pictured myself coming here for school, and that was about it. I’m no social butterfly, so I figured my only friends would be my roommates.

Frist Roadtrip to Ogden

But now that graduation is two months away I am in awe of what has happened in a little under four years. The most important things I will take away from this season in my life have little to do with what I’ve learned in class. Instead, what has had the greatest impact on me during college has been the people I’ve met. 
I believe the reason I ended up going to Weber was to meet the people I now love with all my heart. There are no words to describe everything they’ve done for me. If they weren't a part of my life, I doubt I would even be following Jesus today.
Without small group freshman year, I wouldn’t have had the faith to fight through trials that hit the next summer. If my friends weren’t there to guide me through wrestling with God during my sophomore year, I would’ve walked away from Jesus. The past two years have been full of joy, but they’ve also been incredibly difficult. Still, I knew my friends were always with me. 

Love is crazy, because it is actually God himself. So with every experience I shared with my friends I was actually encountering Jesus. Through my friends God has shown me what his love is like. His love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. His love has never failed and it never will. 
A part of me will be missing when I leave this place where God has completely transformed me. And it breaks my heart to think that my time with my friends here is going to be ending soon. Yes, there will be visits, but we will never be college students again. We won’t be studying together anymore. We’ll be doing whatever adults do in real life, and I’m not sure what that will look like. 
God’s love brought me to Weber to be with people who would love one another and follow God together. I have hope and am confident that the same Love that brought all these people from Utah, Colorado, Montana, Alaska, Nevada, Wyoming, and Arizona to this place at this time will be the same Love that will keep our relationships strong no matter where life takes us. 

1 John 4:16

We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. 

God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.

Worry Lacks Faith

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Your basic needs may seem to be what you should be most worried about. Shouldn’t you be getting a job so you can provide for you and your family? You need food and clothes in order to function. But I am trying to tell you that those things are not as important as you think they are. 

Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Those birds are completely dependent on me, and they trust in my provision. If I don’t feed them with what I’ve created, they will die. I have known you by name since the beginning of time. You are worth infinitely more than you can comprehend. Do you not think your Dad will take care of you?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
If anything, worrying is going to shorten your life. You can’t enjoy the present if you are trying to plan the future. You can’t plan out your life. I know where you’re headed. Let me help you get there. What I have for you is better than anything you can dream of. 

If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest?
In the end, the things you are most worried about are small. 

Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. 
Flowers are clothed in my grace. They do not strive to be beautiful, but they are simply because they allow me to provide for them.

If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? 
Why don’t you have faith? Have I not provided for you in the past? Think of everything that has happened to bring you where you are now. I was by your side through all of it. I was constantly loving you and caring for you the whole time. Am I not worthy of your trust?

So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. 
Don’t worry about how you will provide for yourself. That is the mindset of someone who is of the world and who doesn’t follow me. 

Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 
But you follow me, and I know your needs before you do. I will provide what you need at the time you need them.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.
Follow me and love as I’ve commanded you. You will no longer worry about the things you used to think were important, and I will provide for you what you need without you having to do anything. Let my grace take care of you.

Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.
Today is all you have. Your worry reveals your lack of trust in me. Love me and others because of the love I have for you. That should be what you’re focused on.

Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom.
My child, don’t worry or be afraid about how your life is going to turn out. I want to give you what you need. All you really need is me. My Spirit within you is more than enough. 

Endings

Last week Robert came to visit for the weekend. It was tons of fun, which is how it normally is when we’re together. Sunday night we went to dinner with a group of friends, and at one point he leaned over and asked, “Is it always like this?” Yes, yes it is. I honestly can’t think of a time when I didn’t enjoy spending time with my friends or feel like it wasn’t life-giving.

I’ve recently discovered that 99% of my thoughts are about the future- what I have to do, what I will do, what I want to do. It’s not bad to have goals, but when all of your energy is focused on them you forget to pay attention to what is going on in the present. However, if you know what is coming up in the future, you can cherish what’s happening in the moment. As of today I, along with a few of my closest friends, graduate in 158 days. That means I move back to Arizona in 160 days. 

The reality of moving and not being in college anymore is finally starting to become real. I’m not scared of the future or of change. What I am scared of is losing what I’m leaving behind... No more worshipping God next to the those who have been some of the most important people I’ve been blessed to know and love. No more hanging out and studying in coffee shops. No more cooking dinner for friends. No more being with people who bring me joy by just being with them. Shoot. I’ve already decided I’m going to have to be alone for the first few hours of my drive back to Prescott so I can ugly cry by myself.

There is something beautiful about endings. They clearly separate one time in your life from another, and I’m a fan of closure. Endings are difficult too. They’re abrupt, and everything you’re used to and have known is over. 

Since I know the end of my time in Ogden is coming, and quickly, I will enjoy the time I have with my friends. I will try not to worry about what is going to happen when we’re no longer together. And I will do as much as I possibly can to show them how much I love them. Because I love them a whole bunch. So much that I may or may not have cried a whole bunch while I wrote this.

We quickly forget there is an ending to every part of our life- the end of childhood, high school, college, times where we live in a certain place. Life is always moving forward. Don’t forget there will come a time when you move on from where you are right now. Cherish the people who you are with and where you are at this moment. Before you know it, the future you’ve been worrying and planning about for so long will be here. Don’t plan on enjoying life more in the future. Live now, because in the end, that is all you have.

2 Corinthians 9:15

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

Senioritis

I go back to Utah tomorrow for my last year at Weber. Honestly, I already want it to be over. I want to be done, graduate, and move on. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being in Ogden. I love my friends, and I’ve missed them. It’s everything that I’m going to have to do this year that is keeping me from being excited. I’m bored with the routine of studying, social functions, exams, etc. The only thing I’m looking forward to this year is graduation. It’s April 25th, in case you were wondering. 
A phrase we used at camp this summer was, “First, Last, and Only.” Even though we went through four weeks of camp and did the same activities every week, the campers only had one week of camp. Each day was their first, last, and only chance to have certain experiences. So going into this year, my prayer is that I remember it is my first, last, and only senior year at Weber State. At this point I feel like this year will be similar to the three before. However, just like each week of camp was different, each year of college will be different. We also said, “Last Week, Best Week.” Despite my lack of excitement, I will remain hopeful my last year will be the best yet.

Psalm 26:3

Your love is before my eyes; 

I walk guided by your faithfulness.

Hitting the Wall

“At camp...” is something I’ve probably said hundreds of times since coming back from Georgia. I’ve talked about living with the other missionaries, kids I met, and other random stories. Today it finally sunk in how different camp was from the life I’m living now. Everyone talks about coming back from retreats and camps on a spiritual high, which wears off after a few days or a couple weeks if you’re lucky. I’ve experienced the “Jesus high” before, but I’ve never really had trouble with settling back into every day life. Praise God I’ve been able to take whatever happened at camp and let it transform how I live. But it hasn’t been that way this time around. I was on a six week retreat, so I guess it makes sense that my transition would be difficult. Still, this is not quite what I envisioned happening.

At camp it seemed like God taught me multiple things during personal or communal prayer, homilies, sessions, or praise and worship. I journaled nearly every day, but today was the first time I had since returning from camp. To go from praying hours a day, immersed in an environment focused on leading people to encounter Jesus to a world filled with deadlines, obligations, and expectations has been like hitting a brick wall. 
At camp I felt so in-step with the Spirit that I could feel myself loving others from the overflow of God’s love for me. I could tell when I was doing something purely because of God’s grace and not my own strength. I could clearly see how God was answering prayers. But now it seems like none of that is going on. 
At camp I said I was returning to my life with the resolution to be centered around prayer. Honestly, that hasn’t happened at all. I speed through morning and night prayer, if I even do it. I’ve read a couple chapters of a book, and you already know there has been zero journaling. And to my dear missionary brothers and sisters, I can hardly speak to you because it makes me wish I was back at camp. 

Living out your faith is easy when that’s what your entire day is about. Your faith is tested when you enter into the world where you are bombarded with messages that are completely opposite of what Jesus tells his followers. 
So now, by God’s grace, I move forward in my journey. Although it looks nothing like it did at camp, I have faith my experiences transformed me. I will trust Jesus is holding my hand as I try to become grounded in prayer and center my life around my relationship with him.

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your kind spirit guide me on ground that is level. For your name’s sake, Lord, give me life; in your justice lead me out of distress.

Psalm 143:10-11

True Worship

My time in Hiawassee, Georgia could be summed up as the most life-changing six weeks of my life. I know that’s what everyone says after they go on retreat, but I mean it in the most sincere way possible. And I’m not talking about a change in lifestyle, such as trying to pray or read scripture more. I’m talking about a transformation in which God showed me how to love, rely on prayer, desire to be with Jesus, and worship in the Spirit. I will never be the same. 

Summer Missionaries with Conan the BarBEARian

Since being in Utah I’ve had little support in my Catholic faith from others in the Church my age. After a few years in this environment, I began to think there weren’t many people in the Church who truly loved Jesus. My motivation in being a summer missionary was to show teens that having a relationship with Jesus is possible within the Catholic Church. At it’s core, this goal was a good one. However, my fault was in my arrogance of assuming I was one of the few Catholics who had discovered this Truth. There were 14 other summer missionaries, 8 service crew members, and 5 full time missionaries who, thanks be to God, showed me that there are plenty of college-aged Catholics who love Jesus with everything they have.

The night we all arrived at camp we had a spontaneous worship session on the deck of our cabin. It was one of my favorite nights in all six weeks of camp. This random group of people from around the country (and Canada) were worshipping in the Spirit in ways I had never seen or experienced before. During the two weeks of preparing camp and training I was able to witness this beautiful sight multiple times a day. Each word that came from everyone’s mouth was a true prayer straight from their heart. All of this continued during the four weeks of camp as well, but those first two weeks deepened my prayer life in ways I can only begin to explain. 

I now feel free to worship and praise God without being worried about what others will think of me. I’m comfortable singing, even though I am well aware my voice does not sound like a choir of angels. None of that matters anyways. Worship is about glorifying God, not displaying your passion and feelings for others to see. 
We prayed the Liturgy of the Hours in the morning and night as a community. The number of times God connected those prayers to my personal prayer, the readings for the day, or songs was insane. Jesus was speaking to me in deep and intimate ways, and it created a longing in me to just be with him. Now that I’m back home, I want to be in a place where praying is the first thing I do in the morning, and then continue to lean on prayer to get through the day. When Paul said, “Pray without ceasing,” he meant it.

But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him. 

God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and truth.

John 4:23-24

Camp Hiawassee

Urbana is a missions conference a group of us attended in St. Louis during Christmas break. There were about 18,000 people there and 250 missions organizations. It was an overwhelming experience, because there was too much to see and do than humanly possible. God taught me about how we can love and show his grace to others in a way that is specific to our passions and gifts. He renewed my desire for Catholics to realize their faith isn’t simply about going to a boring church service, but it is centered around their relationship with Jesus. When people encounter God in a personal way, they will be transformed. 
While I was at Urbana I remembered the LifeTeen summer missionary program. I knew the deadline was in January, but wasn’t sure if it was at the beginning or end of the month. So I told God I would check the deadline when I got back home, and I would apply if it hadn’t passed. The deadline was the 28th, so I began the application process. The day I left chapter camp I received a call while I was in the airport that I had been chosen to be a summer missionary. Jesus always has the best timing.

I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve with about 15 others at Camp Covecrest in Hiawassee, Georgia. The camp is specifically for middle schoolers, and I will be there May 19 to June 30. God’s faithfulness and grace is evident in how he has brought me from being an Edge leader when I was in high school to now. It has been an incredible journey, and I can’t wait to see what God is going to do in Hiawassee. 

Part of being a missionary is fundraising, and being supported through prayer and financially. Here is a link to my fundraising page, and I appreciate any donations. 

http://donate.lifeteen.com/mfrias

I will be praying for you all as I’m preparing to leave and while I’m at camp. Thank you for your generosity!

Philippians 1:6

I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

In Sum

This has been my favorite year of college so far. Friendships became deeper and new ones were made. There are no words for how I feel after watching God work in people’s lives to bring them together. I was given incredible opportunities to experience God’s power, and I have never seen him moving so clearly before. It has been a privilege to help lead a small group, attend conferences and camp, and speak at a large group. The year wasn't sunshine and happiness all the time, but the hardships are nothing in comparison to all of the good that has happened. The only thing I can do is sit back and enjoy it all. I love my life and every single person in it.

Psalm 37:4

Find your delight in the Lord

who will give you your heart’s desire.

Do You Trust Me?

There are a lot of things going on at the moment. I think all of them are good, but I have no idea how they're going to turn out. It’s all uncertain and unknown, and I can't even begin to guess how they will end up. How can I move forward when I don’t even know where I’m going? 

Trust. 
Remembering God’s faithfulness in the past. 

Lately I’ve seen him writing people’s stories and how he brings people into your life at the right time. We always say that God’s timing is perfect, but to actually live it is incredible. To know that the creator of the universe is paying attention to every detail of your life makes my head hurt and my heart feel loved. 

Since coincidences aren’t real, I don’t think it’s random that in a time where I’m experiencing such a deep trust in God, that I’ve been thinking about my dad. Because of how my dad loves me I have no trouble calling God, Daddy.

Yesterday I remembered one time when my dad and I were out driving when I still had my permit. We were going down the road, when he reached over and put his hand in front of my face. What did I do? I never swerved or hit the brakes, I just kept driving. Apparently that wasn’t the reaction he was looking for, and he was beginning to seriously question my driving abilities. But why did I just keep going? I trusted that he wouldn’t have covered my eyes if we were going to be in danger, and if a dog ran into the road, he would’ve taken over. I trusted in his vision even though I couldn’t see, and that he could and would keep us safe. 

In everything that is currently happening, God keeps asking me one thing: Do you trust me? Yes, Daddy, I do. I trust your guidance and that you know where we’re going, even though I can’t see. I trust in your protection, and that you will be with me the entire time.

Psalm 56:4

O Most High, when I am afraid, 

in you I place my trust. 

Nuestra Familia Hermosa

A few weeks ago was Grampa & Gramma's 50th anniversary. We got together and had a little photoshoot for them, since we are obviously the reward for their marriage. Hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

Psalm 100

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; worship the Lord with cries of gladness; come before him with joyful song. Know that the Lord is God, our maker to whom we belong, whose people we are, God's well-tended flock. Enter the temple gates with praise, its courts with thanksgiving. Give thanks to God, bless his name; good indeed is the Lord, whose love endures forever, whose faithfulness lasts through every age.

November 18th

It’s kind of a tradition to write on this day, (old blogs: 11/18/10, 11/18/11) so I figured it was a good time to come back from my writing hiatus. After reading those posts, I was struck by how I have been in a different place each year. Really, I don’t know why this is such a surprise to me. Maybe because at the time I wrote them, I was so sure of myself and thought my view on life would never change. Oh, but I’m constantly being reminded of how life is always moving forward. At first, I was all about living in the moment and doing what you want when you have the chance. The following year I was flat out angry and bitter. This year I have no idea how I’d label my view of life. I do know for certain that it isn’t anything like what it has been before. I’m living in the moment, but not in the positive way I originally intended. Now all I can see is the present: school assignments, studying, IV meetings, working out, tutoring, sleeping (maybe?). Everything has been turned into a checklist.

The worst part is that when something amazing is happening, I can’t even recognize what is going on because I'm already thinking about what's next on my to do list. A couple of times I have sat down and written out things from this semester that I'm thankful for. After getting about 10 things on the list I have to stop, because I get overwhelmed by how powerful God is. Still, when those things were actually happening it’s like the weight of them never registered with me. In the moment I’m aware that something important is going on, but I’ve already moved to the next thing I have to do. 

This weird disconnect between my mind and reality honestly made me think I was becoming schizophrenic for a while. Turns out I was just sleep deprived. Why I strive for perfection to the point of exhaustion doesn’t make any sense to me, but I do know that I have a deeply rooted desire to prove myself. Prove what, you ask? I say, I don’t know. Hence why I’ve started writing again. Slowly, things are coming to the surface that Jesus wants me to deal with. Sigh, but I trust the process.

Again, I don’t know how to label this moment in my life. I do know that where I am now is completely different than where I was three years ago. If you were to have asked me then if I thought that in the future I would be a college student living in Utah, I would have said absolutely not. If you had asked if I thought I would be part of a community of people who truly loved me, I would have told you to stop asking me stupid questions and leave me alone. The change that has happened over the course of just three years is ridiculous, quite honestly. It makes me grateful to be serving a God who takes such good care of his children no matter where they are in life. He is sovereign, and I can’t wait to see where he guides me in the next few years. 

Isaiah 48:17

Thus says the Lord, your redeemer,
the Holy One of Israel:
I, the Lord, your God,
teach you what is for your good, 
and lead you on the way you should go.

First Week Chaos

The past week and a half has been crazy. 

Let’s begin with a 12 hour roadtrip back to Ogden with the parentals. That in itself is craziness. Then something really weird and unexpected happened while I was driving through town: I was happy to be back. Not just because I would be seeing friends soon, but because I was back in the town where I live. 

The next day I went on a leadership retreat with InterVarsity, and my parents went to Yellowstone. Those two days were full of Jesus, and we saw two moose. I didn’t even know they lived in Utah. Then it was back to real life. This is the fifth time that I’ve moved in or out of the dorms, and it’s starting to get old. It didn’t help that our air conditioner wasn’t working (more on that later). 

Of course there was a Friesta, and seeing my parents hanging out with Utah friends has officially become one of my top ten favorite things. My 21st birthday ended the weekend, and I still haven’t fully grasped that reality yet. That night as I was laying in bed (the fifth one that I had occupied in that week), I was in shock that I’m a junior in college and pretty much an adult. 

Then the real fun began. I woke up monday morning and decided to check if my scholarships had gone through. Normally there’s no trouble, and it all happens automatically. Well this time they hadn’t, and the school said I owed them over $2,000 for tuition and a late fee for not having paid it on time. I promptly freaked my freak, and rushed over to campus to get things sorted out. In the time it took me to get there, the scholarship went through. They also took away my late fee. So everything worked out, but I suffered a mild panic attack/heat stroke because the ac in our dorm still wasn’t working. In the past week maintenance has come three times, and it’s currently 80 degrees in the living room (the bedrooms tend to be slightly warmer). Let’s hope that gets fixed soon. My printer also decided to print out nice green pictures for me. I called staples, and they said to run the cleaning cycles. Which I did about a dozen times, and the pictures turned from green to hazy. Yesterday I printed out regular pages and it was fine, so I guess I’ll just have to not print my own pictures. I can live with that. 

This all may seem like bad luck, but I think it’s more. Yes, all of these things are annoyances, but they do a number on me. The first week is difficult enough because I don’t have a routine yet, and these hassles made it worse. I felt unsettled and wished it was summer so that I wouldn’t have to deal with everything that was going on. I think all of this was the enemy trying to derail me by having me focus on the past, which brought despair because it was over. Why would he do that? Something important is happening in the present. The Kingdom is alive and well at Weber (see the following paragraph), and that brings opposition. But despite the battle there is always victory.

The highlight of the week was InterVarsity. We had a proxe station (no, I don’t know what proxe means) on campus for four days. It was about identity and what you are/will be known for. Basically a person will walk up, we’ll ask them questions about their identity, tell them we’re from IV, talk about Jesus, and then invite them to large and small groups. Some are genuinely interested, others not so much. One girl said she wasn't in to religion and asked me where she could find popsicles. 

This year I’ve been given the opportunity to co-lead a Bible study. Talk about crazy. Finding a small group my freshman year was what got me involved with IV, and to be a small group leader just two years later is crazy. It’s overwhelming to see how transforming those two years have been. This week we just met and hung out, but next week we’ll start our study of Matthew. I’m excited about what’s to come this year, and my prayer is that our small group will become a familia. 

There were almost 150 people at our first large group, and that’s amazing. God is doing incredible work here at Weber, and I’m grateful that I get to be a part of it.

During this week I truly felt like an upperclassman. I feel old not just in age, but I feel like a grownup and leader. Talk about crazy.

Not in my bow do I trust, nor does my sword bring me victory.

Psalm 44:7